view member journals

����������� Ok, well I don’t know what to talk about really. Not much has been going on other than all this crazy weather we’re having. I swear, two days ago I was hot! Like, it was hot to where I was thinking about turning on the central air hot! And now today, there are icicles on the branches. It’s crazy! �I’m just like, what the crap! Oh, and for my New Year’s resolution is to stop cursing so much and to also stop drinking soda other than if I’m at the movies because I’m not going to pay $3 for a bottle of water! I mean, I can’t do it. Water should be free and I disagree to pay for it. Well I mean, we pay the water bill and I’m paying in that way but c’mon! Water costing $3! That water better make me lose a pound in that one bottle! Let’s see what else. Oh, well we got this new worker, I’m his trainer. He’s cool and all but I don’t know. He keeps on talking about girls and this and that, and I don’t think he’s too fond of gays. He talks about it’s not natural and this and that. I’m just like, oh, ok, you know. I think he’ll probably get me to come out and just go bad on him. For one, I hate when people say, oh it’s a choice. Ha, yeah, I CHOSE to be different. I CHOSE to be hated by homophobes. I CHOSE to have to feel scared about being with a guy. Yeah, I CHOSE to be gay and like men. It’s so dumb, I don’t know. I should just write a book. And of course he continues to go on, he said something about, “Oh, I studied biology and I know that there is no way a rectum should be use for that” or some crap like that. I was just thinking, Ok, a girl’s mouth isn’t used to suck d**k but bet he wouldn’t mind if the girl got on her knees. Am I right? Really! And to be honest I do like the feeling, LOL. I don’t know. He doesn’t want me to come out because if I did, oh I would let him have it. You wanna be a great debater, let’s go! But yeah, I don’t know. Umm, let me see what else to talk about. Oh, my freaking sister got in a wreck (while I was with her, my first time in a wreck!) while she was driving my other sister’s car. Yeah, it was really scary! But no one was hurt so that was a blessing. Umm, let me see what else. Oh, my cousin has continued to be a rotten mother to her kids. She dropped them off at my grandma’s house just like she did to us. Yeah, I don’t know if it’s because she doesn’t love them or just doesn’t behave the way a mother should. I mean, I don’t think my mom was a very good mother but I loved her to death and I know that she loved me to death. I mean, the woman would cry over anything. I remember when I cut my foot on some glass and was bleeding she started crying. It didn’t hurt too badly but it sort of felt good to know that she loved me. I guess I always knew, I even remember when I was younger, like 3 or so, I remember telling her I wanted to marry her, not knowing of course how nasty and wrong that would have been, LOL. I was even telling my sister that and she was just like, “Oh, that’s so cute!” I was like, yeah, when I was younger she was my everything. She was the world to me. It’s sort of sad to think that her daughter won’t feel the way I did about my mom nor does her mom feel that same about her. I don’t know what is the matter with that girl is. All I can think of is, “THIS IS YOUR BABY!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE AND WANT TO CARE FOR YOUR BABY!!!” But maybe one day she’ll learn a thing or two about them kids but when that day comes, it will probably be too late for them kids. Umm, what else to talk about…oh, we also got this other new guy. He’s a little slow it seems like. Sometimes he talks and I’m like, what the crap are you talking about. He thinks he’s hot or something. I’ll give him a 6 out of a 10. 10 being crazy cute where I look at you more than once and just say to myself several times, “Dang, you are SEXY/CUTE!” I’ve seen maybe umm, about 5-10 donors that we’re like oh crap and maybe 2 � workers. � meaning I thought this guy was really super cute when I first saw him but now he’s like an 8. Just when you’re more up close you know, LOL. Yeah, well anyways, he’s a 6. He talks about girls but he never really discusses gays or whatever. Guess haven’t gotten to that subject. I don’t know why me and Pete (the other guy) discussed it one day. It was weird. I want to say it’s because there’s this girl who works there and I told him she’s lesbian and he went off from there. He says, “I don’t dislike gay people. I love gay people. I just disagree with their relationship.” What kind of stupid CRAP is that? Umm, gay people and gay relationships…sort of go hand in hand don’t you think. Being gay is your sexual orientation meaning that some kind of sexual relationship is involved. Yeah, I don’t know. Anyways, back to the other guy, Robert. Yeah, he just talks about girls and crap once in a while but he says he wouldn’t cheat on his girlfriend because he wouldn’t throw away what he has for p*55y. So that’s good I think. I tell him I’m going to message his girlfriend and tell her and he was like, “Nah man!” LOL I wouldn’t do that of course. That’s him and her. It just seems that the majority of men are pigs. It freaking sucks. Rob and another guy were talking about a donor and the other guy was telling Rob to like put her number in his cell with a guy’s name. I just think, dang are men really like this??? I mean, yeah, I know my occasional a-hole such as my cousin and stuff but really! I don’t know. Well hopefully I can find a good guy one day. I hope. Well until next week. I’ll talk to y’all later! �